Release

Grip tight. I held on to the
fantasy of you like a viper. Your
empty words filling me as if
they were my last meal.
The pretty lies you told like a
path leading me to my own
execution.

At some point my brain told me
to hold on to everything I was

hoping you would be.
my mind cultivated an image of
you that could never fit in the frame.

Your sudden presence in my life brought
alive something within me that I'd

long thought I'd laid to rest but

how could I expect you 
to hold my vulnerability
when you wouldn’t even hold me?

You were never meant to be permanent
and yet you left a mark.
Everything you did was your choice but

the lack of boundaries made it so easy.

How was I expected to know 

the impact you would have 

on my psyche?

You swept into my life like a tornado
and all you left behind was debris.
Giving me experiences I'd never had
but making sure to snatch away
any joy attached immediately.

What's a gift if it comes with
an already expired warranty?
What's any relationship at all
without healthy levels of reciprocity?

And knowing now, that you crave
the attention that comes from giving
the starving crumbs of affection,
why am I still desperately trying to eat?

And knowing now, that people like you
are leeches disguised as butterflies,
why can't I just release?

                                                                                            -Liz