6 Things I've Learned Since Having a Near-Death Experience

1. For some people, you will literally have to die before they'll be compelled enough to see you.

2. For other people, you will literally have to almost die before they'll be compelled enough to speak to you.

3. What hurts more than being shot is the grueling process of recovery.

4. What helps the grueling process of recovery more than the pain meds is love.

5. The ones who love what I have to give will not be there when I no longer have any of me to spare.

6. But the ones who love who I am will never hesitate to show up when they know I need it most.

-Liz

Fall's Decay

Every year you can find fall's beauty

in her decay as the earth's chill

slowly creeps in to fill the space

of the vacated summer heat.

Autumn has lessons she can teach us.

With broadstrokes she paints the trees

oranges, yellows and reds; colors captivating,

despite their pending release.

She reminds us that even relationships

we hope to be long-lasting

must be let go of once they've 

reached their expiration date.

 

A man once said, "Decay is the laboratory of life" 

This season adds to that quotes gravity.

The trees would die if they let themselves

be weighed down by frail connections and wilted leaves.

And so will we, slowly,

if we let ourselves be weighed down

by clinging to people

that should be set free.

-Liz

The Good in People

I'm sitting on a rock

dangling my feet 

over the edge of a crystal clear creek, 

moss paints the world around me, 

the sun is shining down covering the earth 

like a warm blanket 

and I am alone.

There is no one around, yet

I find myself deep 

in thought about how I believe 

human beings are mostly good.

Not because I believe

in arbitrary markers of "good and bad"

but because to me good is

what makes us human.

"There's a word for that, I'm sure"

I think, as I watch orange and red leaves 

fall from the trees and travel downstream. 

a soft breeze grazes my cheek 

as I turn my head to see

a woman and her husband have appeared

a couple hundred feet away from me.

I can see the wife smiling even in the distance 

as she takes photos of her husband fishing. 

"simple, but sweet"

Truly, I am touched.

And then the word hits me.

The good I see in people?

Is in how they love.

-Liz

The Dogma of Passion

If I had known 

the last time we kissed 

that months later I'd still 

be waiting for the next

I would've held your face in my hands

like water seeping through my palms and

pressed my lips against yours

as if I'd never be able to drink again.

But I did not know and now

my ears host ominous whispers

saying that I screwed up 

in my refrain.

Yet I know that when I see you next

I will leave no room for confusion

about how much

you were missed.

Passion bursting between us 

like the fireworks

that illuminated the sky

on the night that we first kissed.

-Liz

Good Sex

good sex

feels both timeless

and instant.

blink once

passionate kisses have already started fires

between us.

hands tracing

hungrily over each other's bodies

pulsating electric.

mouths open

in shock at how good this feels as moaning

becomes in sync.

eyes wide

memorizing all the ways our bodies contort as we

near closer to our brink.

hands gripping 

with a pressure concentrated enough to form

diamonds under our skin.

eyes locked

ecstasy beaming through like spotlights in the night

as we coalesce.

bodies falling 

into each other before the final explosion 

we both wish to be endless.

-liz

all in a day's work

it's early.

the morning dew is still caressing the grass.

sunlight beaming like a spotlight as it

gently peels through the windows.

my body lay static.

dark purple bedding intermingled with legs.

pillows scattered haphazardly

collecting dust on the carpet floor.

i do not want to leave.

i do not want to see the world today.

i do not want to join the crowd

of other forlorn workers, alienated,

while still so close in space.

 

i only want to lay here sunbathing

in the hopeful morning light.

but the shallow promise of tomorrow

coaxes me to get up and join the fight.

 

the martyrs of prior insurrections

beckon for my weary body to rise.

they say we have to struggle for revolution

even with the knowledge

that it will not happen overnight.

-liz

I am

I no longer cower in fear at the prospect of love

What scares me is not abundance but lack.

 

If I am afraid it is not because someone is giving too much.

I am attuned to the difference and overlap

                    between a lesson and a gift.

I have accepted the fact that my passion is too overflowing

                     for casual and callousness.

 

I feel too deeply to be shallow with another.

I share too much of myself for someone else 

                     to be keeping secrets.

 

I am no longer afraid of love, no longer worried

                      that I'll never find it. 

 

I realize now it's always been within me,

I am love and I embody everything I know it can be.

-Liz